Are Blocking Beliefs Impeding Your Therapy Goals?
If you’ve ever asked yourself whether therapy is “working,” you’re not alone. Especially when progress seemingly slows or reaches an impasse, you may wonder if your therapist understands and relates to you in a way that meets your expectations and/or has the skillset you’re seeking. Or you simply might feel impatient to feel better. These are all reasonable concerns to occasionally reflect upon.
But what about when self-beliefs show up that slow or halt your healing journey? In EMDR therapy, they’re called blocking beliefs, roughly defined as beliefs that might prevent us from integrating an upsetting or traumatic experience. Blocking beliefs can show up when you’re having difficulty trusting in your ability to heal from an upsetting or traumatic experience.
Stuck in a Belief
Jim Knipe, PhD, created a blocking beliefs questionnaire listing beliefs that slow or stop reprocessing. While these blocking beliefs show up in all therapy modalities, he created the questionnaire for use in EMDR therapy. Click here to view.
Looking Beneath the Belief
Many emotions can fuel a blocking belief. Guilt is a good example. Let’s say we’re not at peace with how we handled a traumatic or upsetting experience. We may find ourselves thinking one or more of the following:
“If I forgive myself, I’m condoning what happened.”
“Continuing to hold this guilt will prevent me from making the same mistake in the future.”
“Being hyper alert keeps me/my loved ones safe. I can’t mess up again.”
“I don’t deserve to forgive myself.”
Another reason we can get stuck in a blocking belief is due to a secondary gain or benefit that the blocking belief provides. Despite the discomfort of holding a blocking belief, doing so provides more benefit than letting go. This is complex, but reasons might include emotional or financial. For example, focusing on physical symptoms to avoid addressing a failing relationship.
Case Study: Susan’s Blocking Belief
The following client example of how blocking beliefs form is for illustrative purposes. Keep in mind, blocking beliefs can show up with any memory or experience:
Susan*, 36 years old, has a severe phobia of heights. She tells me she has good reason: as a 9-year-old, Susan’s 11 year old sibling, Mindy, regularly teased and threatened to roll Susan down the steep, rocky hill behind their home if Susan didn’t comply with Mindy’s demands to follow her orders. So, for years, a very fearful Susan made Mindy’s bed, cleaned her room and handed over her toys at Mindy’s whim. Their parents brushed off the interactions as normal sibling behavior and didn’t provide protection or comfort.
While Mindy regularly corralled Susan in the backyard, she would always stop just as she maneuvered Susan to the edge of the steep, rocky hill.
Except for one day.
A nearby car backfired, Mindy screamed in fear and released Susan from her hold. Susan tumbled more than 30 feet down the steep hill and hurled into a large rock.
Susan described an immense fear of dying as she quickly rolled down the hill. She sustained a broken right arm and dislocated left shoulder. Susan reported that as a result, her parents finally stepped in to stop Mindy’s bullying behavior. While her physical injuries healed, Susan has since struggled with deep shame, anxiety, feeling inadequate and a pervasive fear of heights.
Hurdles and Paths to Healing
Susan came to see me for EMDR therapy to integrate years of traumatic memories involving interactions with Mindy, including the memory of tumbling down the steep, rocky hill. Susan avoided elevators, stairs and planes and wouldn’t drive or walk beyond a low, flat elevation. These restrictions resulted in frequent job changes to avoid being found out and strained personal relationships.
Susan initially reported little relief from EMDR therapy, continually stating that she just wanted to feel differently and that she didn’t understand why she is unable to move forward. She knew in her head that she was safe, yet…
When EMDR therapy clients report feeling stuck, we incorporate a technique called interweaves to “jump-start” reprocessing. Interweaves are short questions that the therapist asks to get the reprocessing back on track. Often, the client resumes reprocessing traumatic and upsetting memories, but when that doesn’t happen, therapists move to the next level - exploring potential blocking beliefs.
Identifying Blocking Beliefs
Drawing from the Blocking Belief questionnaire, Susan identified two blocking beliefs:
I’m embarrassed that I have this problem.
I don't deserve to get over this problem
Naming the above provided Susan with an answer to her nagging thought, “I don’t know why I can’t move on”. From there, specific techniques were used to help traverse the block. For Susan, this was a game changer - having a new understanding created a new path forward and restarted the previously stuck reprocessing.
Unblock Your Blocks
If your therapy feels “stuck”, consider working with a compassionate EMDR therapist to help you recalibrate and clear any blocking beliefs.
EMDR therapy isn’t a quick fix and in my experience, traumatic and upsetting memories take time and patience to integrate. Many people notice increased emotional space and a sense of peace as these memories are integrated. EMDR therapy is an evidence-based treatment for PTSD and other trauma and stressor disorders.
*Name and details have been changed to preserve privacy.
Until next month…Ginny
If you’re having a mental health emergency, please dial 911 and/or go to the nearest emergency room immediately.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, Available 24 hours. Call 1-800-273-8255
Ginny Paige, LCSW
Ginny Paige is a therapist in New York and Vermont. She specializes in supporting adults and children who are struggling to manage life’s changes.