Parents and caretakers who bring their children to see me to address boundary challenges quickly realize that I’m a huge advocate of also involving them in the therapy process. This is partly because caretakers tend to underestimate their ability to support their littles. Confidence can falter, especially in moments of dysregulation for both caretaker and child. And at a certain point, the focus becomes, “Please fix my child’s bad behavior.”

While it’s true that objective, professional support is valuable and can help turn things in a positive direction, it’s also true that parents play an essential role in implementing and maintaining positive change - otherwise, it’s unlikely that any meaningful shifts will stick. My role as the child’s therapist includes serving as a teacher and guide to the family, first and foremost helping caretakers look beneath their child’s behaviors.

This month, I’m sharing a tool that EMDR therapists use as a calming and grounding resource with clients who are reprocessing traumatic and upsetting memories. In my experience, this technique benefits not only EMDR therapy clients, but most everyone experiencing moments of fear, anxiety, sadness or any upsetting emotion. While it’s ideal to learn this technique from an experienced mental health professional, the concept can easily be adapted and implemented to use on your own and/or with your loved ones.

If you’ve ever asked yourself whether therapy is “working”, you’re not alone. Especially when progress seemingly slows or reaches an impasse, you may wonder if your therapist understands and relates to you in a way that meets your expectations and/or has the skillset you’re seeking. Or you simply might feel impatient to feel better. These are all reasonable concerns to occasionally reflect upon.

Continuing from last month’s blog post, “When Everyday Transitions Feel Big, Part 1: Adults” this month’s focus is about kids who struggle with day-to-day transitions/changes and how you can help your little move through them with more ease.

Let’s review the many transitions that humans experience, starting from the moment we enter the world. (anchor link to Part 1 blog that lists examples of kid’s transitions). While some littles transition seamlessly, others are thrown for a loop. Reasons for transition troubles vary, but unexpected changes to routine and a lack of routine are frequent culprits.

Do you wonder why it’s hard to go with the flow, even when you know what the flow is? Difficulty leaving home or work? Do transitions, expected or unexpected, throw you for a loop?

This blog post talks about those “seemingly small” transitions that are part of life, yet somehow feel triggering. I list examples of transitions from infancy through adulthood, discuss potential reasons we get stuck and offer suggestions to move through tough moments with more ease.

As much as we’re aware of the benefit of slowing down and reflecting on the passing year, society also encourages us to make the most of the current season - buying, consuming, celebrating and traveling near and far to see family and friends, often taxing our physical, emotional and spiritual well-being - the complete opposite of stillness. The flip side is that the season is fleeting and for some, these weeks can bring happiness, connection, peace and the opportunity to reunite with loved ones.

There’s a saying, “Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning how to dance in the rain.” While I’m uncertain of the source, I am certain that this quote is a life lesson in under 20 words for those triggered by invites to holiday and various life transition celebrations.

Do you cope with the stress of upcoming triggering gatherings by telling yourself, “I’ll feel better as soon as X is over,”? Do you painfully muddle through? In the meantime, or if you’re looking for quick survival tips, this blog post offers concrete suggestions about how to reduce the stress and distress that accompanies holiday gatherings and life transition celebrations. Because soon enough, the next invite will arrive.

Perfectionist tendencies, social anxiety and imposter syndrome are part and parcel of the human experience, but as a way of life, can exhaust us mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually to the point of burnout. EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing Therapy) is a tool with the potential to lessen and even eliminate these often debilitating tendencies that we may have given up all hope of moving through.

If ever an event to rouse your child’s nervous system, it’s returning to school. This annual life transition can bring up feelings ranging from happiness, relief, excitement and optimism, to ambivalence, fear, shame, anger, anxiety and depression. Whether your child is just starting or going back to school, it can be challenging as a caretaker to witness the less than positive reactions. But, learning to view your child’s school struggles through a nervous system and connection lens may provide context and solutions you hadn’t previously considered.

How to bring more ease and less dis-ease (originally defined as the opposite of ease) into your life when the world is filled with turmoil? We’ve been co-existing with suffering and uncertainty about what the future will look like for a long while. To be sure, these are beyond challenging times. I invite you to take a short break from dis-ease to spend some quality time with ease. I’ll leave it to you how much time you visit, even a few moments will reap benefits.

I frequently receive inquiries from people seeking EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy to help heal from upsetting and traumatic experiences. As an EMDR therapist, I naturally envision how EMDR therapy could be of value to clients who are feeling stuck in one or more areas of life, so I’m always happy to have a conversation.

It’s never pleasant to acknowledge that you’ve experienced trauma, whether it’s a one-time occurrence or ongoing. But what about when you know something feels off and you can’t quite make sense of why? Due diligence at your doctor rules out physical ailments and you’re advised to manage your stress. While this seems like reasonable advice, what you’re experiencing feels bigger, yet vague. Noticing that something is happening in your mind and body that you can’t explain can feel scary and isolating, even surreal.

If you’ve endured the loss of your beloved pet or companion animal (both referred to here as a companion), you may have experienced a physical and emotional void that left you in a state of surreal emptiness and vulnerability. The pain is palpable and equally so when the loss is ambiguous, such as when your companion is missing. Yet, especially in the immediate days, it can also feel nearly impossible to acknowledge.

Many clients come to me for support with managing and healing from professional and personal burnout. Some are fully aware of having a lack of focus, intention, motivation and joy in life. Others are too exhausted to notice, going through the motions on autopilot, surviving, but not emotionally thriving. For many, burnout has been a constant throughout life. Some may remember a time when life felt easier and happier and wonder how and when this level of exhaustion ultimately got the better of them. Many experiencing burnout report free floating anxiety, depression, agitation, hopelessness and discontent.

Social media can complicate both the smoothest and roughest of breakups, regardless of our age or the length of the union. Having easy access into a former partner’s life, simply by looking at your device brings its own challenges. This data is a double-edged sword- we may not want to see the person unhappy, yet we may also feel unready to see the person moving on, especially if we’re struggling to heal. And what about when the relationship isn’t officially over, but rather, on a break?