Five Not So Obvious Signs You Might Be Struggling With Trauma
It’s never pleasant to acknowledge that you’ve experienced trauma, whether it’s a one-time occurrence or ongoing.
But what about when you know something feels off and you can’t quite make sense of why? Due diligence at your doctor rules out physical ailments and you’re advised to manage your stress. While this seems like reasonable advice, what you’re experiencing feels bigger, yet vague. Noticing that something is happening in your mind and body that you can’t explain can feel scary and isolating, even surreal. Your instinct may be to Google your symptoms, yet comparing yourself to others may not prove accurate.
One explanation for these feelings and sensations could be unacknowledged trauma. This blog post talks about trauma, the unexpected ways it can show up in your life and suggestions to get you on the road to healing and wellbeing.
Trauma Defined
SAMHSA describes individual trauma as resulting from "an event, series of events, or set of circumstances that is experienced by an individual as physically or emotionally harmful or life threatening and that has lasting adverse effects on the individual’s functioning and mental, physical, social, emotional, or spiritual well-being." The American Psychological Association states that traumatic events often challenge an individual’s view of the world as a just, safe, and predictable place.
As an EMDR therapist, I define trauma as a deeply upsetting or distressing experience that gets “stuck” in a person’s body. The experience might be a one time incident or ongoing. The person may be directly involved or a witness. I’ve seen a wide range of responses to trauma on the spectrum of fully shutting down to continuing to function, but very often carrying the trauma signs I discuss below.
In my experience, whether or not an event is considered traumatic is specific to the individual. For example, if two people witness a major car accident where the passengers sustain serious injuries, one witness may report deep distress and be majorly impacted emotionally and/or physically, while the other witness may report mild upset, integrating the experience and moving on soon after.
I’ve noticed that trauma can also result from seemingly benign experiences, such as a passing comment or feeling judged or excluded. Most any experience, if perceived as a threat, can get stuck in your nervous system and potentially cause trauma.
What’s Happening to Me? Five Not So Obvious Signs of Trauma
While reading the SAMSHA and APA definitions may resonate enough to make sense of what you’re experiencing, here are five signs of trauma you may not have considered:
1. Increasingly negative, impatient and unpredictable reactions to people, places and things that can’t otherwise be explained, (i.e. an interpersonal stressor you’re already aware of, etc.). You may feel triggered by what people say and how they interact, struggle to relate to others or feel like you don’t fit in. You may notice negative sensory triggers, for example to a particular song, smell, taste or place. The texture of particular foods or clothing may cause a strong reaction.
2. Current stressors have reached a tipping point, often due to a life transition, illness or recent traumatic experience, triggering past unresolved issues. Your bucket becomes too full to hold what’s happening internally. You moved from barely holding on to full fledged meltdown or burnout. You’re no longer able to keep your feelings under wraps and are mentally and physically exhausted from either knowingly or unknowingly trying to stuff it down for so long. How a person has dealt (or not) with past traumas will often inform how current traumas are experienced.
3. Impaired decision making and forgetfulness. This can show up as making impulsive or poorly thought out choices that put you or others in a negative situation or at its worst, in danger. Examples could be missing work deadlines or meetings, standing up friends, driving while under the influence, promiscuity or even forgetting to pick up your child from school. It can feel so challenging to get through the days and nights when you’re consumed and distracted.
4. Emotional numbing. Also known as dissociation or feeling like you’re floating through life. You feel disconnected from your body and interactions. You seem to be observing, rather than participating, doing what you need to get by. Numbing is how the body protects you from overwhelming and distressing feelings.
5. Feeling stuck. An overall feeling of stuckness is common when there’s an underlying trauma. It can be hard to motivate yourself to begin to make a change. You know what needs to happen to move forward, but somehow, you just can’t get started. Or you may not know where to start. It’s all a frustrating mystery. Feelings of overwhelm are common, as well as ongoing anxiety about not being further ahead than you are.
Wired to Heal
There's a saying that past patterns are recreated until acknowledged and healed. While these words may feel difficult to acknowledge, know that there is support to help you move through whatever you’re experiencing. Resilience is part and parcel of the human spirit, even when you’re feeling the weight of your experiences. Your body is wired to heal, it just needs the tools to begin.
I encourage you to reach out to a compassionate and experienced trauma therapist for support. EMDR therapy can be extremely helpful in reprocessing trauma and turning down the charge of traumatic experiences.
The world is filled with traumas and also filled with healing. Working through your traumas with support can help you move forward in life with a sense of peace, relief and purpose - something we all deserve. Reach out to supportive family and friends.
If you don’t feel supported, seek the support you need by reaching out to a mental health professional or joining a support group that feels good to you. You are worthy and you aren’t alone.
Until next month… Ginny
If you’re having a mental health emergency, please dial 911 and/or go to the nearest emergency room immediately.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, Available 24 hours. Call 1-800-273-8255
Ginny Paige, LCSW
Ginny Paige is a therapist in New York and Vermont. She specializes in supporting adults and children who are struggling to manage life’s changes.